When I was young I loved winter. I hated summer. Now that I’m getting disturbingly old, I hate winter. I actually look forward to summer. This makes no sense, does it? I’ve become the opposite of my former self. If this is true, here are some other changes I can soon expect: 1. I will [...]
It’s the night before Christmas and…. And I don’t celebrate Christmas, so it’s just another night for me. The problem is that I’m craving ice cream. And of course every place is closed for the holiday right now. No ice cream! (*whimper*) When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but… No, wait. Never mind. [...]
I am wearing all black today. I can’t decide whether I feel Amish, or I’m in mourning, or desperately trying to pretend to be elegant. I suppose it could be all three, if I wanted it badly enough. I could never be Amish. Sometimes we just need electricity in our lives, when we need to [...]
Last week I was reminded that some people in the world are not very nice. I wish we lived in a non-judgmental world ruled by common courtesy, but alas. I can’t change the world, but I did attempt to make it a nicer place. Today while going into the store, I held the door open [...]
When Kurt Cobain committed suicide back in 1994, Courtney Love gave his guitar to the members of R.E.M, since he was friends with the members of that group. Also, it’s presumed that R.E.M. was the last music he listened to before he died. When his body was found, his stereo was on, and R.E.M. was [...]
It’s been awhile since I posted, so let’s squish a big ol’ update here. (Hear the squishy sound?) (No… the OTHER squishy sound.) It’s summertime here, so I can now officially begin my yearly regimen of complaining about the heat. And the sun. And humidity. And road constuction. I’ve lost 106 pounds so far. I [...]
Here it is, 2011 already. FEBRUARY 2011, no less. I am still waiting for my flying car, my jet pack, and my transporter. Since I’m a reasonable person, I’m willing to wait a few more months for the time machine.
1. Today I had the very first rotten headache of 2011. It would be supremely wonderful if that was also my last and only one of 2011. And, as long as I’m being hopeful, I’d also like to be able to fly and become invisible. 2. I am going to be 41 in just a [...]
It’s 2011 already! I must be getting old, because the time is just whizzing by like a… Like a… See? I’m too old to think of a good comparison example. Soon I’ll be forgetting whether I prefer hot sauce or mild. Try to remind me that I prefer the hot stuff. Who are you, again?
How did it become December already? Did I step into a freakish time warp which was cleverly disguised as a Taco Bell? Did they lure me in by promising that they still had the Cheesy Gordita Crunch for a limited time only? How does time go so fast these days? Is this really what happens [...]
