I tried installing a new printer today and have had a miserable time.

If ANY of you out there can help, or if you know someone who can help, please do something.

Here’s some background information:

This is the very first printer I’ve had with my new computer.
The computer was custom-made for me last summer, and is certainly not outdated in any way.  I promise.  So the problem can’t be that it’s “old.”
The OS is Windows XP.
The printer/scanner is an HP deskjet F4200.

Ok.  Here’s what I did to set it up:
1.  Plugged it in to the electrical outlet (duh)
2.  Plugged in the USB cable.
3.  Turned the “power” button on.
4.  The computer immediately recognized that I’d introduced new hardware, and brought up this nice wizard which guided me through the whole process.  I put in the installation CD and everything went beautifully.  It said the installation was successful.  Then it gave me this window which offered me the opportunity to print a test page:

I clicked on “Print Sample Page.”
At first it didn’t seem to want to; nothing was responding.
I checked to make sure the cartridges were installed right, and yes, they looked right.  I took them out and put them back in again, just to be sure.

Here’s the window that says YES, the cartridges are correctly installed:

It didn’t seem to understand that there was paper in the printer, but eventually, YES, it finally printed out a test page.
Everything looked fine.

The problem is that it won’t print out anything from any of my programs at all.

Despite the fact that my “Printers” folder lists it as installed and ready,  (see screencap), none of my programs are recognizing it.

(BTW, I don’t understand why it’s listing two printers in that window.  I’ve only used this one.)
The black check mark next to the F4200 means it’s selected as the default printer, right??

Yes… see, here’s the window that confirms it’s the default printer:

Yet, no program will recognize it.

Microsoft Word gives me this:

My photo-editing software program gives me this:

And my music composition software gives me this:

I have restarted the computer.  (Twice, in fact.)
I have turned the printer off, and back on again.  (At least three times).
I have checked to make sure the cables are still connected.  (Yes, they are.)

The frustrating thing is that I’ve now gotten THIS error, which makes no sense because I can SEE that everything’s connected:

I clicked on the “Help Documents”  and got this:

Notice the options it gives:
1.  Computer not turned on.
Wrong.  Of COURSE it’s turned on.  Here I am, using it to make this blog entry.  I can see the blue light flickering away, like it always does when it’s on.    As a side note, I can also see that the printer itself IS on; the lights are all on, just as they should be.  Nothing is blinking or giving me any warning signs.  Just the regular green lights which say it’s ready.

2.  Computer not connected to the product.
Well, it MUST be connected to the product, because it recognized the new hardware as soon as I plugged the USB cable in.   And it printed out a test page.

3.  Software not installed correctly.
Wrong, because the screen SAID it successfully completed the installation process.

4.  Software installed but not running.
How could this be?  I don’t understand this one either.  The (so-called) “Help” section of the software is running, the “Print test page” thing worked, so certainly there’s no reason the rest of it wouldn’t be running, right?

I took out the installation CD and re-inserted it, and it remembered me.  (Or, rather, the computer remembered the CD.)  I got a window which said “Welcome Back!”

I am at the end of my rope.

Can any of you explain what’s going on?
Why won’t my printer work the way it’s supposed to?

Those “help” documents aren’t helping at all, and I have quickly grown to loathe them with an intensity usually reserved for onions, worms, and migraines.
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These people needed to have a sign made, to tell truck drivers they couldn’t use a certain entrance.
The message they wanted was “No entry for heavy goods vehicles.  Residential site only.”
So far, so good, right?
Well, because it’s a bilingual area, they also had to have it translated into Welsh.  But none of them had any idea how to speak Welsh, so they submitted the phrase to someone whose JOB is to translate things into Welsh.
So far, so good.
They e-mailed the phrase they wanted the person to translate.
They promptly received an e-mail reply written in Welsh.
And they put those words on the sign.

Here’s the sign:

The problem is, the Welsh words actually said “I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated.”

Oops.

I can’t really blame them, though.  They didn’t speak Welsh; they had no clue what the words meant.  Obviously if they’d been fluent in this language, they would have done the translation themselves without any help.
The translation service should have responded bilingually.   If you know your clients can’t speak a certain language, you should probably NOT make a point of writing to them in that language.  (And if you have your e-mail set to “automatic reply”, be sure all your clients can understand your message!)

Other translation mishaps are just plain strange.
Here’s one which tells bicyclists that they must get off their bikes.  The English words say “Cyclists dismount“, but for some reason the Welsh says “Bladder inflammation upset“.

Here’s one where the English says “Look right,” but the Welsh says “Look left“.

So, for all I know, if I sent this blog to a professional service to be translated into Welsh, it might come back as instructions on how to prepare a lovely fish dinner for seven.

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I remember one version where the dealer got to specify which cards were wild.
(Example:   “All  sixes are wild,”  or   “The king of diamonds and both red tens,”  etc).

Every time it was my turn, I always specified the same cards as wild:

The Jack of Hearts, and both black fours.  (i.e.  the four of spades and the four of clubs.)

I dunno why.  Just felt right. 
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This is the journey of Janna, trying to find a way to listen to MPYR Radio online.

As some of you know, I got a brand new computer this week.

It is awesome.

I still have dial-up, which sorta sucks, but still, I’ve been able to listen to radio shows online.  In fact, right now, as I type this, I’m listening to the BBC news online.  So I figured, why not try MPYR.  The reason I wanted to is because I’d heard good things about the DJ Monty, who has a show on Friday nights from 10-12.

So, I went to their page on Friday evening, ready to begin the process of signing up and doing whatever I needed to do in order to listen to Monty’s show. 

(See screencap of MPYR’s home page above.)
I clicked where it says “Listen Here.”

And…. this window popped up, which wanted me to download a file called “listen.pls”.

I wasn’t sure quite what it was, and hesitated for a moment. 

It would truly suck if I was about to download a virus onto my brand new computer.  Tears would flow. Screams would echo.

Still, I was optimistic.  I went ahead and downloaded it.

See?  Here it is, successfully downloaded in my files…
It’s the one at the bottom right… the one that says “listen.pls”.

So far, so good, I guess.

Except, when I tried opening it, the computer had no idea what it was, and had no idea how to open the file.

So, I was stuck.

I went back to the main page and clicked where it says “On Air Talent.”

It brought up a page that lists all the DJ’s.

Monty was on the list.

Here’s her page, in case you want to check it out.

Notice how this page has another button that says “Listen Here.”

I clicked on that one, hoping it would do something different from what the previous one did.

The good news:  It DID do something different.
The lousy news:  It brought up this.

“Broadcast unavailable.  “mpyr” is not broadcasting on our system at the moment.  Please try again later.”

Okaaaay….

Well, I thought perhaps I might be able to find some help in the chat room.
I HAVE been there before.  I spent a Friday evening in Monty’s chat room a couple months ago, even though I wasn’t able to listen to the show she was concurrently broadcasting.
I tried logging in….
And it rejected my password.
I clicked on the “Forgot my password” link (even though I KNOW I used the right one).

Waited for the e-mail….

 Got it….
It contained a link I needed to click on, to verify my identity and re-set the password.

Notice how it says “Have a lot of fun!”

Though I admit, by this point, it was getting rather annoying.

Still undaunted, though, I clicked on the link provided…. and….
….And…..

I got THIS.

Tried it over and over, kept getting the same “Not Found” page.

So…. not good.

By now, it was after 10:00.

I went back to the main page, which still had its scrolling grey list that said “Friday Night Live at 10 pm ET.”  So there should have been a show airing.

I clicked where it says “Broadcast Calendar”, and saw THIS.

It says “There are no scheduled calendar events.”

All the days are completely blank.

Yet that front page still has shows listed, including Monty’s at 10.

So…  I have no clue.

I’m typing this at 11:00 pm, when ordinarily she would still be on the air, halfway through her show.  But if it really is there, I’m ready to fully admit that I have no clue how to listen to it.
Do any of you, ANY of you have any clues about this?
Did MPYR radio go defunct?  If so, why does their home page not reflect this in any way?  Why is there still a scrolling list of upcoming shows?
Enlighten me.
For now, I’m going back to listening to the BBC news.
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2. Why is marijuana sometimes called “Pot”? Did someone once grow it in a pot? Did some high person forget how to pronounce “marijuana”, and happened to be looking at a flower pot instead, and decided to say that name instead?

3. If microwave radiation is really all that dangerous, why aren’t we all dead now? I remember back in the 70′s when microwave ovens became popular, my parents warned me to stay back from the microwave when it was cooking something. They’d heard about the “dangers” of its radiation, and I suppose they worried that one day I’d wake up with three arms and four ears.

4. How on earth can cats possibly stand to lick their own butts?
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Manic Monday on my other blogs:
Jannaverse: Still Waiting For My Miracle
Jantrails: The Key To Happiness… or something like that.
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Here’s the thing, though…

Water is exactly the opposite.
Water EXPANDS when it freezes, and it contracts when it melts.
I remember reading that the ratio is 9/10… in other words, nine buckets of water will freeze and expand to the equivalent of TEN buckets of ice.

So…. WHY is water different?

I don’t understand.
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When I got my computer from Gateway a few years ago, I actually DID hook it all up by myself. This still surprises me. I attribute it to the fact that Gateway included VERY easy directions in their big cow-print box. Somehow I managed to do it all right, and have been a computer/internet addict ever since.

Now if I could only figure out the VCR.

I never really understood record players either.
Or eight-tracks.
And would someone please explain to me how an abacus works?

Let’s give it a try, hm?