Jantics » Food!

And don’t forget to share your winnings with me

Janna — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 02:26:38 +0000

In case you’re ever on Jeopardy someday, about to win the jackpot, and your final question is “What did Janna have for a snack before bedtime on December 5th, 2008?”….

The answer is diced watermelon, eaten out of a cheap plastic container with a cheap plastic fork at 9:24pm.

Be sure to phrase it in the form of a question.
.

Probably powered by gas

Janna — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 04:22:31 +0000

Hey there!

I’ve spent the last couple days house-sitting for my mom and dad while they took a mini-vacation. (I still don’t know where they went. I’ll find out on Monday, I guess.)

While I was there, I made a giant pot of chili for myself. When I say “giant”, I mean there was at least two gallons of chili in that pot. I wanted plenty of leftovers so I could share some with the ABC group on Tuesday, plus I like the idea of occasionally bringing a bowl of homemade chili for my lunch at work.

This was good chili. I love super-hot chili, the hotter the better. This came out sort of a medium-warm. Still, I liked it. I used two pounds of hot pork sausage and nine cloves of fresh chopped garlic and an entire jar of diced jalapenos. If I could’ve found habaneros I would have used those instead. Plus there were the usual “chili ingredients” like tomato juice, crushed tomatoes, and plenty of hot chili beans. And spices.

The farts were amazing. I’m not gonna lie.

So, when I got this “Power Blog” Award from Mik over at Slightly Mordant, my first thought was that my blog is powered by gas.

Thank you, Mik, for thinking of me.

Would you like a bowl of chili?

Manic Monday: Season

Janna — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 23:59:39 +0000

Sunday was the first day so far this season that I’ve actually seen snow accumulating on the ground.
So now, as far as I’m concerned, it is now officially winter.
(Forget all that nonsense about the Winter Equinox starting on December 21.)

So this means it is now time to start making hot chocolate and dressing up in warm fuzzy bathrobes.

In case any of you need a recipe for hot chocolate, try this one:

In a car of your choice, drive to McDonalds and say “I’d like a large hot chocolate, please.” Give them your money and drink the hot chocolate. Fight the urge to say something about how they should probably not wear nose rings while fixing your food.

If you go to the drive-up window, you can even wear the fuzzy bathrobe.
.

Because zebras should never be mild

Janna — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 19:24:07 +0000

If I had a lot more money and a lot more patience, it would be fun to open my own restaurant. Sometimes, just for the fun of it, I like to draw up floor plans for a place, and make up my own unique menu.

I wonder what my restaurant would be called? I’d like it to be something slightly bizarre, but not so freaky that people run screaming in horror. For example, “The Salmonella Outbreak” might be a poor choice, as would “The Questionable Ingredient”.

Here’s a place that calls itself the “Bounty Hunter.”

It sounds like a good place; here’s a restaurant review of it.

I like the idea of delicious savory sandwiches. And hey, we carnivorous folks are always ready for a good dose of pulled pork. It’s juicy and delicious, plus it’s fun to say “pulled pork” over and over again.
Notice that the review also says they serve wild boar.

Perhaps my restaurant can involve hot and spicy versions of animals we wouldn’t usually eat.

Fiery Kangaroo Poppers!
Sizzling Zebra Fajitas!
Scorching Rattlesnake Nuggets!
Burning Ass! (No, wait…)
Habanero Turtle Pockets!
Flaming Flamingo Wings!

The animal rights activists would be on my doorstep before the lunch hour was even finished.

Hopefully the complimentary basket of Red Hot Rhino Rolls will change their minds.
.

The joy of skunk tea

Janna — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 08:33:31 +0000

Some of you know that I’ve been on a tea kick lately.
And yeah, I’ve become one of those people that buys it by the gallon.
I’ve tried all sorts of varieties. Southern Sweet tea, Green tea with lemon, Sweet tea with lemon, and this stuff that’s half lemonade and half tea.
Faygo makes a version of it that’s regular sweetness, but there’s also this stuff by “Arnold Palmer” that’s a “lite” verson with one-third the calories of the usual version.
I’m drinking some right now.
I wasn’t sure I’d like it, but I have to admit, I think it’s not bad.
It’s interesting.
I’m not sure exactly how it’s sweetened. (I mean, sure, I could get up and look at the label, but that would involve me having to actually get up.)
What intrigues me is this unusual taste it has at the end. It’s… hard to describe. Sort of grassy and herby and…. skunky, but in a good way.
Has anyone ever used that phrase before, in the history of the universe?
“It tastes skunky, but in a good way.”

I probably shouldn’t get a job as a restaurant critic.

“Oh, my, these pork chops are interesting. They’re like burnt plastic, but I mean that in the complimentary sense. And this breadstick is divinely reminiscent of sawdust!”

Anyway, yeah, the tea’s not bad. Really.
I’ll probably buy it again, the next time I’m in the mood for grassy herby skunk juice.
With lemon.
.

You say “tomato,” I say “needs more pepper”

Janna — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 23:01:56 +0000

My mom and I both like tomato juice.
We both love to inundate it with freshly-cracked black pepper. LOTS of black pepper.
Yum.
She likes drinking hers with tabasco sauce. I, although fond of tabasco for other uses, generally don’t like it in tomato juice.
I much prefer to have my tabasco sauce on fish sticks, or in pasta with parmesan cheese. It’s also good in chili. And sometimes on french fries too.
Really, as sauces go, tabasco is not all that hot. There are much better ones. There are some that are so wonderful they can heat an entire bowl of chili with just a few drops.
That reminds me, it’s been forever since I’ve made a pot of chili. I should do that one of these days. I use canned tomatoes, and tomato juice, ground beef, beans, plenty of garlic, and chili peppers, and enough seasonings and hot flavors to make a grown man weep.
Hot juicy tears…. yummy.
I should start a recipe book.
.

Might as well just put a wick on the end

Janna — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:00:19 +0000

I used to love that “Magic Shell” ice cream topping.
And… I suppose I still do.
But I’ve been repulsed by it, ever since I learned that it has WAX in it.
That’s the “secret ingredient” that makes it harden when you pour it on cold stuff like ice cream.
Wax.
All this time I’ve been eating wax, for gosh sakes.
Ew.
If you want to read some sites that confirm and explain this, click here and here.
The thing is, even after learning this unsavory tidbit of knowledge, I still think a chocolate-dipped cone sounds kinda good. Or a big dish of orange sherbet covered in Magic Shell. It actually sounds good, even though I know I’m basically biting into a chocolate-scented candle.
Ugh.
I wonder how many candles’ worth of wax I’ve eaten in my lifetime.
.

Send cookies. Peanut butter ones. Please.

Janna — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 05:56:12 +0000

It’s two in the morning and I am craving peanut butter cookies.

I MUST have peanut butter cookies.

Must. Have.

Yet the only place open this late at night which would actually HAVE them is either Meijer or WalMart.

Both are about a 20-25 minute drive.

Sigh.

Hopefully if I can get some sleep, I’ll forget I’m craving them, right?
Or will I dream of luscious rich peanut buttery discs of joy, lovingly caressing each taste bud as they delight in reminding me of my favorite legume?

If I had the proper ingredients (which I never do), I could make my own.
.

Because sometimes pain is good….

Janna — Thu, 29 May 2008 04:30:43 +0000

I found a website that sells hot sauce.
That, in itself, isn’t unusual, but I love the name they chose for themselves.
It’s called “Taste The Pain.”
LOL!
Here it is:
http://www.tastethepain.com/
.

Manic Monday: Doodle

Janna — Mon, 12 May 2008 06:16:20 +0000

Since I love hot spicy things, (the hotter the better), some people have opined that this should be my theme song. I drew this awhile back and couldn’t resist posting it for today.

Notice the stylish sunglasses and playful music notes. And my huge cavernous mouth. Can’t miss that.

The actual “ring of fire” is elsewhere, of course, but I decided it might be best if I didn’t actually draw that part.

You’re welcome.

Johnny Cash, eat your heart out.

With hot sauce.

——————-
Be sure to check out the doodles on my other blogs today too:
Jannaverse and Jantrails
(Jannaverse is the one where I put today’s CAT doodle!)
.