This Sunday is my birthday.
I’m going to be 39, which is way older than I ever thought I would be.
It’ll be interesting to see if anyone does anything.
So far, as far as I know, no plans have been made.
If I end up being all by myself that day, I guess I could always stand by the side of the road with a sign asking strangers to donate their leftover ketchup packets.
And maybe taco sauce too.
Or salt and pepper.
Surprise me.
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My car tends to be messy.
I hate to admit it, but it’s true. Lately I’ve been at least trying to keep the front half clean, but the back seat is still filled with an eclectic plethora of objects.
So, naturally, when I saw this cartoon, I thought of myself:
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It’s good to know I’m not the only one.
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The Manic Monday theme is “tradition,” and I kinda had a hard time with it because I really don’t follow many traditions.
I don’t really get into celebrating the whole holiday thing. Meh.
Maybe I should start my own tradition.
What should I do?
Any ideas?
Here are some possibilities:
1) Graph Paper Appreciation Day: Every December 29th, pass out one sheet of graph paper to strangers on the street.
2) Canine Mortimer Day: Every December 30th, all dogs will have their names changed to Mortimer. Just for that one day. No reason.
3) Stealth Peanut Day: Every January 2nd, see how many roasted peanuts you can fit in someone’s clothing before they notice.
4) McIce Day: Every January 4th, give an ice cube to a McDonalds employee as a thank-you present.
5) Utensil Matchmaking Day: Every January 22nd, introduce one of your forks to one of your friends’ spoons. Stay away from the knives. Those guys are nothing but trouble.
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Source: Savage Chickens, my favorite web-based cartoon
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I also got a kick out of this page, which reminds me a little bit of some Dilbert cartoons. If any of you work in an office with management, marketing, engineering, maintenance, or manufacturing, you might get a kick out of it. It’s all about a tree swing…. 
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My computer actually made me log into WordPress today, instead of automatically remembering who I am.
Then it brought me to this new and “improved” looking dashboard.
I’d forgotten that Steve said he upgraded me to the newest version of WordPress.
It’s sort of like reaching for a candle and finding a flashlight instead.
There’s this thing called “QuickPress” on the dashboard, which I guess is a way to post stuff without having to click on the “Add New Post” link. I’m trying it for the very first time right now.
Additional thoughts about candles include the following:
1. Why can’t anyone make a grapefruit scented candle that actually smells like grapefruit while it’s burning? I tried the one from Yankee Candle a few years ago. It smells ok in cold wax form, but once it was lit, there was hardly any scent at all. What a travesty.
2. It would be neat if there were cars that ran on candle power, except the flame would go out everytime someone rolled down a window.
3. Candle spelled backwards is “Eldnac,” which sounds like a fictional character that belongs in Lord Of The Rings.
4. If any of you have a candle burning right now, please give it a name. I’m thinking of naming mine Elmer.
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In case you’re ever on Jeopardy someday, about to win the jackpot, and your final question is “What did Janna have for a snack before bedtime on December 5th, 2008?”….
The answer is diced watermelon, eaten out of a cheap plastic container with a cheap plastic fork at 9:24pm.
Be sure to phrase it in the form of a question.
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Things the letters “SHOP” could stand for:
1. Steve, Hold Our Purses!
2. Si, Here’s One Peso…
3. Stop Hassling Old Penguins
4. See Hasselhoff’s Other Pants
5. Spotted Horses Often Poop
6. Spinach Helped Out Popeye
7. Seventeen Herons Over Pennsylvania
8. Skip Hideously Oozing Pustules
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Hey there!
I’ve spent the last couple days house-sitting for my mom and dad while they took a mini-vacation. (I still don’t know where they went. I’ll find out on Monday, I guess.)
While I was there, I made a giant pot of chili for myself. When I say “giant”, I mean there was at least two gallons of chili in that pot. I wanted plenty of leftovers so I could share some with the ABC group on Tuesday, plus I like the idea of occasionally bringing a bowl of homemade chili for my lunch at work.
This was good chili. I love super-hot chili, the hotter the better. This came out sort of a medium-warm. Still, I liked it. I used two pounds of hot pork sausage and nine cloves of fresh chopped garlic and an entire jar of diced jalapenos. If I could’ve found habaneros I would have used those instead. Plus there were the usual “chili ingredients” like tomato juice, crushed tomatoes, and plenty of hot chili beans. And spices.
The farts were amazing. I’m not gonna lie.
So, when I got this “Power Blog” Award from Mik over at Slightly Mordant, my first thought was that my blog is powered by gas.
Thank you, Mik, for thinking of me.
Would you like a bowl of chili?
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