I beg for your help before my brain explodes

This is a shameless, blatant cry for help.
Lemme just say that right now.

I tried installing a new printer today and have had a miserable time.

If ANY of you out there can help, or if you know someone who can help, please do something.

Here’s some background information:

This is the very first printer I’ve had with my new computer.
The computer was custom-made for me last summer, and is certainly not outdated in any way.  I promise.  So the problem can’t be that it’s “old.”
The OS is Windows XP.
The printer/scanner is an HP deskjet F4200.

Ok.  Here’s what I did to set it up:
1.  Plugged it in to the electrical outlet (duh)
2.  Plugged in the USB cable.
3.  Turned the “power” button on.
4.  The computer immediately recognized that I’d introduced new hardware, and brought up this nice wizard which guided me through the whole process.  I put in the installation CD and everything went beautifully.  It said the installation was successful.  Then it gave me this window which offered me the opportunity to print a test page:

printer-1-proof-of-installation

I clicked on “Print Sample Page.”
At first it didn’t seem to want to; nothing was responding.
I checked to make sure the cartridges were installed right, and yes, they looked right.  I took them out and put them back in again, just to be sure.

Here’s the window that says YES, the cartridges are correctly installed:

printer-10-cartridge-yes1

It didn’t seem to understand that there was paper in the printer, but eventually, YES, it finally printed out a test page.
Everything looked fine.

The problem is that it won’t print out anything from any of my programs at all.

Despite the fact that my “Printers” folder lists it as installed and ready,  (see screencap), none of my programs are recognizing it.

printer-2-says-ready

(BTW, I don’t understand why it’s listing two printers in that window.  I’ve only used this one.)
The black check mark next to the F4200 means it’s selected as the default printer, right??

Yes… see, here’s the window that confirms it’s the default printer:

printer-11-default-confirm1

Yet, no program will recognize it.

Microsoft Word gives me this:

printer-8-word-refuses3printer-7-word-refuses2
My photo-editing software program gives me this:

printer-5-ulead-refuses

And my music composition software gives me this:

printer-9-finale-refuses
I have restarted the computer.  (Twice, in fact.)
I have turned the printer off, and back on again.  (At least three times).
I have checked to make sure the cables are still connected.  (Yes, they are.)

The frustrating thing is that I’ve now gotten THIS error, which makes no sense because I can SEE that everything’s connected:

printer-3-says-disconnect

I clicked on the “Help Documents”  and got this:

printer-4-disconnect-stuff1

Notice the options it gives:
1.  Computer not turned on.
Wrong.  Of COURSE it’s turned on.  Here I am, using it to make this blog entry.  I can see the blue light flickering away, like it always does when it’s on.    As a side note, I can also see that the printer itself IS on; the lights are all on, just as they should be.  Nothing is blinking or giving me any warning signs.  Just the regular green lights which say it’s ready.

2.  Computer not connected to the product.
Well, it MUST be connected to the product, because it recognized the new hardware as soon as I plugged the USB cable in.   And it printed out a test page.

3.  Software not installed correctly.
Wrong, because the screen SAID it successfully completed the installation process.

4.  Software installed but not running.
How could this be?  I don’t understand this one either.  The (so-called) “Help” section of the software is running, the “Print test page” thing worked, so certainly there’s no reason the rest of it wouldn’t be running, right?

I took out the installation CD and re-inserted it, and it remembered me.  (Or, rather, the computer remembered the CD.)  I got a window which said “Welcome Back!”

printer-12-welcome-back

I am at the end of my rope.

Can any of you explain what’s going on?
Why won’t my printer work the way it’s supposed to?

Those “help” documents aren’t helping at all, and I have quickly grown to loathe them with an intensity usually reserved for onions, worms, and migraines.
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Wordless Wednesday

piglet-kids

Manic Monday: Snow

snowmanheart

snowman-bloodbath

Dilbert is my hero

Today’s Manic Monday theme is “office”.

My favorite office humor has got to be Dilbert.
Back in the late 1990′s and early 2000′s, I had an office job, and I really grew to hate it.
My boss was truly dense, and she was also on a constant power trip.  She could also be a bit of a bully.

After a short while, I learned to appreciate the special brand of humor found in the Dilbert universe.

dilbert-lemur-cartoon.

Frozen Blogger Seeks Hot Chocolate

We could get wind chills of -40 tonight.
Forty below!

What is this, Canada?

Here’s the official Wind Chill Advisory from The Weather Channel:

windchillwarning-1-16-09Brrr.

This is why my cell smells like brownies

For any of you who are curious how my birthday went, click here to read my post over at The Jannaverse. Thanks very much to all of you who left me good wishes on my blogs and on Facebook and through texting.

The Manic Monday theme for January 12 is “cell”.

If eating chocolate is a crime
You’ll find me in a cell
From now until the end of time
‘Cause “chocolate-free” is hell.

–Janna F.  1-11-09
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Because you’re never too old for condiments

This Sunday is my birthday.
I’m going to be 39, which is way older than I ever thought I would be.
It’ll be interesting to see if anyone does anything.
So far, as far as I know, no plans have been made.
If I end up being all by myself that day, I guess I could always stand by the side of the road with a sign asking strangers to donate their leftover ketchup packets.
And maybe taco sauce too.
Or salt and pepper.

Surprise me.
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Manic Monday: Sale

My car tends to be messy.
I hate to admit it, but it’s true. Lately I’ve been at least trying to keep the front half clean, but the back seat is still filled with an eclectic plethora of objects.
So, naturally, when I saw this cartoon, I thought of myself:
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traveling-yard-sale

It’s good to know I’m not the only one.
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Manic Monday: Tradition

The Manic Monday theme is “tradition,” and I kinda had a hard time with it because I really don’t follow many traditions.
I don’t really get into celebrating the whole holiday thing. Meh.

Maybe I should start my own tradition.
What should I do?
Any ideas?

Here are some possibilities:

1) Graph Paper Appreciation Day: Every December 29th, pass out one sheet of graph paper to strangers on the street.

2) Canine Mortimer Day: Every December 30th, all dogs will have their names changed to Mortimer. Just for that one day. No reason.

3) Stealth Peanut Day: Every January 2nd, see how many roasted peanuts you can fit in someone’s clothing before they notice.

4) McIce Day: Every January 4th, give an ice cube to a McDonalds employee as a thank-you present.

5) Utensil Matchmaking Day: Every January 22nd, introduce one of your forks to one of your friends’ spoons. Stay away from the knives. Those guys are nothing but trouble.
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Manic Monday: Tree

chickensporkSource: Savage Chickens, my favorite web-based cartoon
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I also got a kick out of this page, which reminds me a little bit of some Dilbert cartoons.  If any of you work in an office with management, marketing, engineering, maintenance, or manufacturing, you might get a kick out of it.  It’s all about a tree swing….   :)

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