How did it become December already?
Did I step into a freakish time warp which was cleverly disguised as a Taco Bell? Did they lure me in by promising that they still had the Cheesy Gordita Crunch for a limited time only?
How does time go so fast these days?
Is this really what happens after people turn 40?
I’ll be 41 in January, you know.
Better eat Taco Bell now, before time runs out.
I didn’t feel so well today, and I have no idea why.
Possibly the universe is trying to tell me something.
It could be the following, for instance:
1. Don’t drink an entire liter of diet coke. The chemicals will dissolve a nail, and now they’re dissolving your internal organs. Especially the important ones.
2. It’s time to stop mourning over the fact that Pluto isn’t a planet anymore.
3. That double cheeseburger you ate for lunch? Yeah, that wasn’t really beef.
4. Someone somewhere on the planet hates you.
(They hate ME, I mean. I’m sure no one hates YOU.)
Unless you did something really bad.
Good news! Yesterday it was slightly cooler. This means we only had the lower 80′s instead of the upper 80′s and 90′s.
Still hot enough to make me daydream about doing sit-ups in a vat of mint chocolate chip ice cream, but at least it’s progress in the right direction.
Today it’s supposed to be cooler also.
The low temperature tonight is supposed to get down to 54. That excites me way more than I’m willing to admit.
54 is right in my comfort zone.
But then, a few days after that, and the horrible heat returns.
Upper 80′s, possibly low 90′s… which will certainly have heat indexes (indexes… indices… indi… oh, who cares) in the 90′s-100′s.
I hate humidity.
Thank you all for listening to me grumble and complain.
Your free bucket of mint chocolate chip ice cream will be sent shortly.
I can’t promise I won’t sit in it first.
.
It is hot enough to melt the nose off of an evil clown.
Which, I guess, is good news for all you clown haters out there.
Will someone please pass me a bucket of ice cubes?
It’s been so nice to have a 4-day weekend, I thought I might actually post something here. No doubt you guys were probably suspecting my untimely death, after I’d gone for so long without posting.
Things that happened since my previous post:
1) I broke a nail
2) I discovered that “California Pizza Kitchen” brand pizza is actually pretty lousy, despite the tantalizing picture on the box
3) The crack in my windshield has started spreading
4) The washer works, but the dryer is broken
5) I have NOT yet caught the swine flu, have not had the vaccine, and am still waiting for SARS and the bird flu to arrive. Must be they’re not available in my area.
6) I have gotten used to wearing my new bifocals, and am almost comfortable with the idea of being an old lady. Well, maybe not.
7) Speaking of which, I’m going to turn 40 in January, and have no idea how to politely explain to people that I really, honestly, truly DON’T want them to do anything for me. Seriously. Please. Nothing.
8.) My eyebrow itches.
Have a good weekend, everybody.
I’ll try to post sooner next time.
1. Hot Underground Happenings
2. Heavy Uranium Huts
3. Hasselhoff’s Ultimate Haircut
4. Halitosis = Unpleasant Hello
5. Huge Unprecedented Headache
I’m getting more and more tired these days!
Little kids never seem to really WANT to take naps; they whine about it even if they really are tired.
Adults sometimes take naps on purpose.
Older folks have naps spontaneously “happen” to them.
I’m becoming increasingly more likely to belong to that third group. Every afternoon I get so sleepy that I would love to just curl up and take a nap.
This afternoon when I got home, I thought I’d just lie down and rest for awhile– and the next thing I knew, it was 7:00 in the evening.
As the years progress, I will be napping more and more often.
Before you assume I’ve taken that big “Final” nap, please poke me a few times with a stick to make sure I really am dead.
If I’m not, be prepared to hear me complain about being poked with a stick.
.
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